"kick me"

often, some of us need a good kick in a butt.

this weekend, a friend, who shall remain nameless, mocked and nagged and teased for days about my slow writing schedule of late (okay, it's been slow since last april). we laughed about it, i tried to give my excuses (all very valid, truly), but he was relentless.

"planning to write is not writing. outlining a book is not writing. researching is not writing. talking to people about what you’re doing, none of that is writing. writing is writing." e.l. doctorow

nameless friend left quote behind.

so what are things you want in life? if that desire of want is a deep compelling, then you should pursue it. usually, i'd say you MUST pursue it. but so few people do, so the "must" is rather irrelevant.

i ask this of myself and of you, do you want to be an actor simply playing a role all your life? or do you want to live? do you really want to be who you are? do you know who that is? as a great album is titled, are you "more than you think you are." it's very hard to do, you know, following what you should be. very hard at times. the world tries to take it away. but what's the point otherwise.

there are many other essential things in my world and yours. yet, i can make the time to do what i should...for me, that is to write. i can do it. just know that i do wear a sign on my back, "kick me" it says. sometimes, often, i need it. i did write 1500 words sunday. then watched my new direct TV and cleaned house on monday. leaving the blogging world now, i'm kicking myself today. kicking blue.