i'm in autumn world here in corvallis, oregon. visiting the ower family. can't wait to watch "motorcycle diaries" at the funky avalon theater tonight (home doesn't have funky theaters that show artsy movies, and this one is supposed to be grand). this morning, the corvallis book babes bookclub had me visit after they read "the salt garden." great time together, thanks gals!
a word about writing and keeping at it, if anyone is at all inclined toward accountability, post your word count here for the previous week. also of possible interest, blogger has made november a novel writing month. you can blog your novel and attempt to finish. it's not for me, but perhaps for you. go to www.blogger.com to get started.
last week for me, nothing to jump up and down, but progress. 4500 words which reached me to a point of printing out all 34,000 words so i can start rearranging things (things as in partial dialogues, bits of scenes, pages of sort of scenes, a one true sentence here and there.... i think i might actually find a book out of this writing experiment which can make me wonder what to do with it then (can't think of that however, no, no, just keep writing -- i will be strong against the fears that are odd and constant companions). so it's printed and with me, though no one knows or would be allowed to look.
i leave for the philippines thursday. will write more about that next week.
well, since i hear people in the other room, off to visit friends. as someone keeps telling me "keep writing" you writers out there. all the rest of you, greetings and go find some autumn somewhere. the perfect season.
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Thursday, October 21, 2004
writer essential qualities -- can be developed
so, my word count basically stinks this week. i have very valid excuses and would say that I need to be kicked, but I feel a little beaten down. a family friend passed away monday, so that's part of it. must get some words down today. had a great evening with THE laura jensen walker and husband michael last night. and okay, i'm not any sort of homemaker example, so it felt mighty good to hear laura say, "i had no idea you were such a fabulous cook!" golly, gee, shucks. pasta, german wine, fire in the fireplace, writing talk -- a great night.
loved the comments about writer's abstract tools and thought i'd add something new to the mix, some qualities needed to keep on in this wild writing life.
here we go...COURAGE and PERSERVERANCE and EGO (yep, you read it right)
COURAGE -- someone said and this is all misquoted, but something like, "courage isn't a lack of fear, it's having fear but doing what needs to be done anyway." how many of us hear writer's say how fearful and doubtful and insecure they often feel as the blood, oh I mean, words are translated from body to page? and yet, they keep doing it.
how many amazing talents do we know who stay buried or lost because of lack of courage and perserverance?
PERSEVERANCE -- i'm not a patient person. and i'm not one of those people who would survive hypothermia, frostbite, and dehydration. once in a fishing boat on the ocean, i begged by husband to throw me overboard because i was so terribly seasick. i just wanted to sink into cool water and be done with it. and yet in writing, when my face is in the gravel with my hands and legs sprawled out on the ground, i do somehow get up again. and part of the writer's badge of courage is to be patient...it is a life of waiting for things. but, hey, it's not like you have to gut fish for a living, or wear business clothes or a hair net to work....
EGO -- the book, THE FOUNTAINHEAD, gave me a different perspective on egotism. i think we discredit ourselves and our god by false humility, by self-loathing, by continued insecurity. if we have a gift or a calling, this is what we need to do.
here's a thought about publishing. doesn't it seem that a writer pursuing publication is a little egotistical? i mean, you must want acknowledgment, fame, praise and all those ingredients of pride. and yet, wouldn't someone creating a gourmet meal desire someone to eat that meal? wouldn't an architect or a builder desire people to live inside their creation, or as in our local sundial bridge, certainly santiago calatrava desires people to walk across his design and admire the beauty of it?
it is ego. and it should be.
i mentioned this thought to laura and she referred to a madeleine l'engle book that a writer's project is not complete without the reader. the dwellers within the dwelling, i suppose.
maybe part of our creative instinct to know, "and it is good."
there are other writer's qualities surely, but i found these of most interest today. maybe because i need them to get off blogging and back to my work-in-possible-progress.
anyway, are you lacking courage, the strength to keep on keeping on, or an ego otherwise called confidence? they are attainable. seek them. get back up. keep going. have faith. sometimes you pretend a while and then it happens naturally.
loved the comments about writer's abstract tools and thought i'd add something new to the mix, some qualities needed to keep on in this wild writing life.
here we go...COURAGE and PERSERVERANCE and EGO (yep, you read it right)
COURAGE -- someone said and this is all misquoted, but something like, "courage isn't a lack of fear, it's having fear but doing what needs to be done anyway." how many of us hear writer's say how fearful and doubtful and insecure they often feel as the blood, oh I mean, words are translated from body to page? and yet, they keep doing it.
how many amazing talents do we know who stay buried or lost because of lack of courage and perserverance?
PERSEVERANCE -- i'm not a patient person. and i'm not one of those people who would survive hypothermia, frostbite, and dehydration. once in a fishing boat on the ocean, i begged by husband to throw me overboard because i was so terribly seasick. i just wanted to sink into cool water and be done with it. and yet in writing, when my face is in the gravel with my hands and legs sprawled out on the ground, i do somehow get up again. and part of the writer's badge of courage is to be patient...it is a life of waiting for things. but, hey, it's not like you have to gut fish for a living, or wear business clothes or a hair net to work....
EGO -- the book, THE FOUNTAINHEAD, gave me a different perspective on egotism. i think we discredit ourselves and our god by false humility, by self-loathing, by continued insecurity. if we have a gift or a calling, this is what we need to do.
here's a thought about publishing. doesn't it seem that a writer pursuing publication is a little egotistical? i mean, you must want acknowledgment, fame, praise and all those ingredients of pride. and yet, wouldn't someone creating a gourmet meal desire someone to eat that meal? wouldn't an architect or a builder desire people to live inside their creation, or as in our local sundial bridge, certainly santiago calatrava desires people to walk across his design and admire the beauty of it?
it is ego. and it should be.
i mentioned this thought to laura and she referred to a madeleine l'engle book that a writer's project is not complete without the reader. the dwellers within the dwelling, i suppose.
maybe part of our creative instinct to know, "and it is good."
there are other writer's qualities surely, but i found these of most interest today. maybe because i need them to get off blogging and back to my work-in-possible-progress.
anyway, are you lacking courage, the strength to keep on keeping on, or an ego otherwise called confidence? they are attainable. seek them. get back up. keep going. have faith. sometimes you pretend a while and then it happens naturally.
Monday, October 18, 2004
writer's abstract tools
"Fiction is about everything human and we are made out of dust, and if you scorn getting yourself dusty, then you shouldn't try to write fiction." Flannery O'Connor, "The Nature and Aim of Fiction"
yesterday i may have been somewhat delusional. but did think more on the writing thoughts. mentioned trust and truth, but then more came along.
yesterday:
TRUST - believe in the story and go along for the journey. like any trust issues, the more you write and understand story, the more you can trust the darkened pathways. you'll have more faith to go down them even when you feel fairly blind.
TRUTH -- the strength to tell the story in all it's complexities.
and the new thought:
DISCERNMENT -- when faced with truth, you must go back over it with a discerning eye. we all withhold truths at times. we should, we must.
would you tell the elderly neighbor who brings you cookies that her cookies taste like dog snacks (and yes, i might know what dog snacks taste like)?
we can all think of a dozen examples where discernment calmed a truth.
in writing, too much truth can drown a reader without discernment. i've read stories like this, and i felt demolished by the end. the story disappeared beneath the terrible events or the character's nature. story should never disappear! i've also read novels where the writer chickened out and didn't stay true to the characters or the story itself. story should never be diluted!
trying to learn discernment is basically impossible. it's all fairly abstract. maybe i need to also add INSTINCT to the mix. instinct helps with each of these and a stronger instinct is attained by reading and reading and more reading, not trash, by reading great fiction.
GRAHAM GREENE is an author who comes to mind with a great balance of truth and discernment in his writing. THE END OF THE AFFAIR and THE POWER AND THE GLORY are two of his fabulous classics that i've read. THE COMEDIANS is waiting.
would love thoughts on this.
yesterday i may have been somewhat delusional. but did think more on the writing thoughts. mentioned trust and truth, but then more came along.
yesterday:
TRUST - believe in the story and go along for the journey. like any trust issues, the more you write and understand story, the more you can trust the darkened pathways. you'll have more faith to go down them even when you feel fairly blind.
TRUTH -- the strength to tell the story in all it's complexities.
and the new thought:
DISCERNMENT -- when faced with truth, you must go back over it with a discerning eye. we all withhold truths at times. we should, we must.
would you tell the elderly neighbor who brings you cookies that her cookies taste like dog snacks (and yes, i might know what dog snacks taste like)?
we can all think of a dozen examples where discernment calmed a truth.
in writing, too much truth can drown a reader without discernment. i've read stories like this, and i felt demolished by the end. the story disappeared beneath the terrible events or the character's nature. story should never disappear! i've also read novels where the writer chickened out and didn't stay true to the characters or the story itself. story should never be diluted!
trying to learn discernment is basically impossible. it's all fairly abstract. maybe i need to also add INSTINCT to the mix. instinct helps with each of these and a stronger instinct is attained by reading and reading and more reading, not trash, by reading great fiction.
GRAHAM GREENE is an author who comes to mind with a great balance of truth and discernment in his writing. THE END OF THE AFFAIR and THE POWER AND THE GLORY are two of his fabulous classics that i've read. THE COMEDIANS is waiting.
would love thoughts on this.
Sunday, October 17, 2004
october 17
a year ago, there was a plan made for this date that is now today. when that plan became beyond attaining, new plan was evoked. instead it’s just another day on the surface, though finally cool and october-like. cloudy with wind, some rain in the air ready to meet a thirsty earth and a crazy silver lake.
10/17. i’ve been in Europe on this date on three occasions: 1998, 2000, 2003 (i didn't even plan for it, it just turned out that way). wonder if the north east autumns are like the autumns in the austrian lake district of salzkammergut. the alps appear on fire with yellows and reds. i buried something in the mountains there, somewhere beneath the earth of a cliff-side village called hallstatt. (everyone owes it to themselves to visit hallstatt at least once). i wonder how my buried "treasure" is, if it’s survived a winter and the seasons gone round. will it survive the years until someone, perhaps myself, digs it back up and peers inside?
this past week, i wrote 7,000 words on my “writing experiment” called "clockworks." thank you nagging friend and quote on desk. i started "clockworks" over a year and a half ago. never ceases to amaze me how a story will take you on its own journey, develop and change right before you eyes. an inkling, a little glimmer of story, if followed like a dark path in the forest will bring about the most amazing adventures.
trust is first in writing i think. you must trust the story and go along down those paths even if you eventually change course, even if it looks like a dead end.
and then truth. this i struggle with. some truths are hard to tell. you worry about responsibility, reactions, misunderstanding. i'll follow truth for now, then step back and see how honest to be. i mean, don't we do that all the time in life. we have a truth inside but must determine how much of it to expose. truth can be the deadliest weapon.
even with 7,000 words, i wish i’d written more. getting sick pretty much kept me in bed all weekend, and i have very little patience for physical weakness in myself. i should’ve gone to the doctor, still should, but i like home on a cloudy day with the water wild. i have a good book besides, and direct tv has been quite entertaining.
yet a new week begins, i have to keep writing this story. even if it's for my own expression, never shared with someone else. sometimes you have to do that, you know. write or do something because it won't leave you alone, even if you don't know what in the world to do with the result.
and why, i can't say, was i thinking of prozac, cialis, lipitor, viagra, fior...
synthetics to make singular worlds go round. amazing to think all people need today. not that i'm condoning or condemning, just stating my amazement over it. some people need drugs to survive the pain of living. some need secret lives. some need a sense of power or importance or purpose. some need to write or sketch or sing or act. some need a clean house, a secure savings, a dependable car, a bridge to sleep beneath for the night. needs we think essential. and most often what we really need is sufficiently ignored.
i'm tossing things out, left and right. think i need to go back to bed. a blog at your fingertips can be more dangerous than even truth perhaps. or not. all i know is it's october 17. did my plans fail, or where they wrong to be planned. god knows. and it's good to be here today. it's not autumn in the alps. but 10/17 did give me marvelous wind and clouds and rain in the air.
10/17. i’ve been in Europe on this date on three occasions: 1998, 2000, 2003 (i didn't even plan for it, it just turned out that way). wonder if the north east autumns are like the autumns in the austrian lake district of salzkammergut. the alps appear on fire with yellows and reds. i buried something in the mountains there, somewhere beneath the earth of a cliff-side village called hallstatt. (everyone owes it to themselves to visit hallstatt at least once). i wonder how my buried "treasure" is, if it’s survived a winter and the seasons gone round. will it survive the years until someone, perhaps myself, digs it back up and peers inside?
this past week, i wrote 7,000 words on my “writing experiment” called "clockworks." thank you nagging friend and quote on desk. i started "clockworks" over a year and a half ago. never ceases to amaze me how a story will take you on its own journey, develop and change right before you eyes. an inkling, a little glimmer of story, if followed like a dark path in the forest will bring about the most amazing adventures.
trust is first in writing i think. you must trust the story and go along down those paths even if you eventually change course, even if it looks like a dead end.
and then truth. this i struggle with. some truths are hard to tell. you worry about responsibility, reactions, misunderstanding. i'll follow truth for now, then step back and see how honest to be. i mean, don't we do that all the time in life. we have a truth inside but must determine how much of it to expose. truth can be the deadliest weapon.
even with 7,000 words, i wish i’d written more. getting sick pretty much kept me in bed all weekend, and i have very little patience for physical weakness in myself. i should’ve gone to the doctor, still should, but i like home on a cloudy day with the water wild. i have a good book besides, and direct tv has been quite entertaining.
yet a new week begins, i have to keep writing this story. even if it's for my own expression, never shared with someone else. sometimes you have to do that, you know. write or do something because it won't leave you alone, even if you don't know what in the world to do with the result.
and why, i can't say, was i thinking of prozac, cialis, lipitor, viagra, fior...
synthetics to make singular worlds go round. amazing to think all people need today. not that i'm condoning or condemning, just stating my amazement over it. some people need drugs to survive the pain of living. some need secret lives. some need a sense of power or importance or purpose. some need to write or sketch or sing or act. some need a clean house, a secure savings, a dependable car, a bridge to sleep beneath for the night. needs we think essential. and most often what we really need is sufficiently ignored.
i'm tossing things out, left and right. think i need to go back to bed. a blog at your fingertips can be more dangerous than even truth perhaps. or not. all i know is it's october 17. did my plans fail, or where they wrong to be planned. god knows. and it's good to be here today. it's not autumn in the alps. but 10/17 did give me marvelous wind and clouds and rain in the air.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
"kick me"
often, some of us need a good kick in a butt.
this weekend, a friend, who shall remain nameless, mocked and nagged and teased for days about my slow writing schedule of late (okay, it's been slow since last april). we laughed about it, i tried to give my excuses (all very valid, truly), but he was relentless.
"planning to write is not writing. outlining a book is not writing. researching is not writing. talking to people about what you’re doing, none of that is writing. writing is writing." e.l. doctorow
nameless friend left quote behind.
so what are things you want in life? if that desire of want is a deep compelling, then you should pursue it. usually, i'd say you MUST pursue it. but so few people do, so the "must" is rather irrelevant.
i ask this of myself and of you, do you want to be an actor simply playing a role all your life? or do you want to live? do you really want to be who you are? do you know who that is? as a great album is titled, are you "more than you think you are." it's very hard to do, you know, following what you should be. very hard at times. the world tries to take it away. but what's the point otherwise.
there are many other essential things in my world and yours. yet, i can make the time to do what i should...for me, that is to write. i can do it. just know that i do wear a sign on my back, "kick me" it says. sometimes, often, i need it. i did write 1500 words sunday. then watched my new direct TV and cleaned house on monday. leaving the blogging world now, i'm kicking myself today. kicking blue.
this weekend, a friend, who shall remain nameless, mocked and nagged and teased for days about my slow writing schedule of late (okay, it's been slow since last april). we laughed about it, i tried to give my excuses (all very valid, truly), but he was relentless.
"planning to write is not writing. outlining a book is not writing. researching is not writing. talking to people about what you’re doing, none of that is writing. writing is writing." e.l. doctorow
nameless friend left quote behind.
so what are things you want in life? if that desire of want is a deep compelling, then you should pursue it. usually, i'd say you MUST pursue it. but so few people do, so the "must" is rather irrelevant.
i ask this of myself and of you, do you want to be an actor simply playing a role all your life? or do you want to live? do you really want to be who you are? do you know who that is? as a great album is titled, are you "more than you think you are." it's very hard to do, you know, following what you should be. very hard at times. the world tries to take it away. but what's the point otherwise.
there are many other essential things in my world and yours. yet, i can make the time to do what i should...for me, that is to write. i can do it. just know that i do wear a sign on my back, "kick me" it says. sometimes, often, i need it. i did write 1500 words sunday. then watched my new direct TV and cleaned house on monday. leaving the blogging world now, i'm kicking myself today. kicking blue.
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
the writers are coming
i'm excited, excited.
tricia goyer and family arrived sunday.
travis thrasher arrives tomorrow at the little redding airport.
then more writers arrive for the conference this weekend -- aspiring writers, pros, old friends, new friends, my writers group.
it'll be a few days all about writing and words and laughing and learning. sometimes, even while you love your family, you need to be around your own species.
tricia goyer and family arrived sunday.
travis thrasher arrives tomorrow at the little redding airport.
then more writers arrive for the conference this weekend -- aspiring writers, pros, old friends, new friends, my writers group.
it'll be a few days all about writing and words and laughing and learning. sometimes, even while you love your family, you need to be around your own species.
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