please tell me i'm wrong

so here i am at the christian booksellers convention. it's a cool time for me, really. most of my year i'm writing away in little ole cottonwood, and then powie, i get to hang out with my favorite writer friends. i stay in hotels that i usually can't afford (they give discounts and i pile in friends). i see and meet a few famous people or once-were famous or lukewarm famous people too -- hey, i like them all. and some people actually act like i'm a little famous which is rather a kick. two dear people in my booksigning line mentioned their disappointment over my first three novels all going to out-of-print purgatory this year. bless them, i wanted to take them home with me.

i get to wear all my dressy clothes and shoes and feel prettied-up for author dinners and events. browsing the floor, i see all the new books, cool covers, spot christian music artists, rush over to old friends, set up meetings both semi-important and then just plain fun. talk about the future, the ideas, the vision, the plans, the things we've learned, the things we'd wished to never know. and i haven't even begun to mention the writer's retreat before cba begins, or the intense discussions or plans for my trip to the philippines in november. people expand my world, and i love them and they love me. you see the best of people and are reminded or given fresh views of god love, his grace, and his intimate reach around the world.

and then there is the downside. the convention is for displaying new products. christian products, if you will. though how really does a product understand its need for grace? so, among the christian stuff, i find things that i like. books, i'm bringing home tons of books. and other things too. but then, then, then, oh then, there is the crap, if you will. and i mean crap spelled s-h-i-t. really, will a christian in-soles (IN SOULS), you know those padded things for your shoes, truly help me live a better life in christ? (and i came up with that idea years ago as a joke, and now someone has a booth and product) and then, the scripture mints, the stickers, the flower arrangements, framed quotes...anything and everything you can think up that can hold a verse and sell, really they're selling what it cost christ to die for mankind.
how about some toilet paper?

WHY ARE THESE THINGS FOR SALE? WHY ARE PEOPLE BUYING THEM? HOW CAN THIS BE A MARKET?

no one thought my sleeping bag roller-upper was a good enough idea. or what about the body cup holder (hands-free coffee for the gal on the go!). or...hey, maybe if i put a scripture verse on that. and the thing is, people don't get outraged about it (well some do), but not enough really, cause it has a verse and so must be christian (is this the thinking?). but i'll get disapproval for saying shit.

god can use anything, and will. someone's life will be moved by a mint with a scripture on it. but that doesn't stop the disgust of motives behind it. i mean, enough already.

now, i really don't mind being told i'm wrong. i'm wrong all the time to such a degree i'm forever doubting myself. so tell me, if you know. am i wrong here?

i'll miss cba, the people, the events, the energy. it's been a great one, and i'm grateful for it. grateful for so many things i see in my mind right now, and wish to write each one. wow, i thank god for them.

home in the morning (missing home) and with the sleep i've had, that flight will be a blink.